Sadness....

I should be so happy right now because I am on break from school with nothing to do, but relax....And I am so sad.  It started yesterday, and I just could not get out of the funk.  It continued into today.  All I want to do is lie around and do absolutely nothing, which is fine.  But I would rather get things done, and I would rather have feelings of happiness and joy in my heart.  All I keep thinking about is how afraid of my future I am, and how I can't believe more hasn't happened in my life yet.  It is so frustrating, but why can't I just live in the moment and enjoy my life how it is.  I only have four months left of school, and then I graduate.  I have no plans and that scares the hell out of me.  I have no boyfriend and no perspectives.  I also have no best friend, which is foreign for me because that has never happened.  It is scary because I have no one to run my ideas by and no one to give me supportive advice or criticism.  Why do I have so much anxiety?  Why do I fear being on my own?  I have always felt like I have been independent and on my own, but it has never been like this.