Uncertainties...
I am in a situation that seems to reappear in my life very often. It is not a situation that I try to get myself into, but it keeps happening over and over again. Maybe I am just meant to be alone and not bother with men because frankly, I am not having good luck. I just want to quit. I have examined this issue many times, and I have realized it is not caused by constantly looking and/or settling. So, Why does this continue to happen to me? Don't I deserve something great in my life? I can answer that one for myself, and I know for sure that the answer is yes, but what sort of lesson am I supposed to be learning from all of this?
Maybe, I just need to clear my head completely and not think about it ever, BUT I also believe in visualization. I can't completely clear my head of these ideas when I need to see or experience my future through my senses.
Some people enjoy getting angry because it makes them feel like they are in control. This is one of the only negative emotions that makes you feel powerful. I absolutely hate this emotion. Why would you want to be angry when you can be cheerful and full of life? Well, I keep putting myself into situations where a person that is very close to me enjoys being angry. OR I just make him angry because I push his buttons. So, he is never to blame. Even though, he says that I never take blame for arguments, which I always need to explain to him that I make mistakes because I am human. I need to become aware of why this is all happening. Maybe, I am the one causing fights with people. Maybe I do push people. I know in the past as a child and adolescent, I would pull pranks and do little annoying things to my uncle and his friends because I thought it was fun. I could possibly be doing the same things now.
I just go back to a time when I was in the greatest relationship of my life, and we hardly ever fought. When we fought, the fight usually lasted only a few minutes. This leads me to think that my situation now is just messed up. This was my exception. Could I just be having bad luck? Or, Have I just not found the right person?
Maybe, I just need to clear my head completely and not think about it ever, BUT I also believe in visualization. I can't completely clear my head of these ideas when I need to see or experience my future through my senses.
Some people enjoy getting angry because it makes them feel like they are in control. This is one of the only negative emotions that makes you feel powerful. I absolutely hate this emotion. Why would you want to be angry when you can be cheerful and full of life? Well, I keep putting myself into situations where a person that is very close to me enjoys being angry. OR I just make him angry because I push his buttons. So, he is never to blame. Even though, he says that I never take blame for arguments, which I always need to explain to him that I make mistakes because I am human. I need to become aware of why this is all happening. Maybe, I am the one causing fights with people. Maybe I do push people. I know in the past as a child and adolescent, I would pull pranks and do little annoying things to my uncle and his friends because I thought it was fun. I could possibly be doing the same things now.
I just go back to a time when I was in the greatest relationship of my life, and we hardly ever fought. When we fought, the fight usually lasted only a few minutes. This leads me to think that my situation now is just messed up. This was my exception. Could I just be having bad luck? Or, Have I just not found the right person?
I also tell him all the time that he chooses to be angry, which in this situation is correct. He can choose not to blow up or to stay happy, but he chooses to stay angry for a whole FREAKING day or longer.
ReplyDelete